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A colleague recently asked me to provide some tips for coaching an individual who is stressed out. The individual was juggling too many balls. With a recent promotion, several projects on the go, and changes in her personal life, she reacted by bursting into tears when confronted by an upset customer.

Everyone in today’s society knows what juggling too many balls feels like. What is the outcome?  Most likely, when feeling overwhelmed, the juggler drops all the balls.  That’s not good. That’s how burn out happens. But what if the juggler purposely drops a couple of the balls to prevent all the balls from dropping?  Isn’t that better then dropping all of them?  For example:

1. Learn how to delegate. Drop ball #1. Delegating to others can help you get through peak periods. If you don’t have anyone to delegate to at work, see #2. And make sure you delegate to family members to help out at home so that you have some down time to recharge.    
2. Learn how to ask for help. Drop ball #2. Sometimes we can’t do it on our own. Recognizing when help is needed is key. Don’t wait until all the balls are dropped. Ask before you reach the melting point and toss a ball to someone willing to help.
3. Learn how to prioritize. Drop ball #3. Do you really need to organize an elaborate family reunion, when you’ve just received a promotion on the job? Toss one of the balls into the “later pile” when you have more energy to cope. Leave your energy for the promotion and keep your personal life purposely unbusy.
4. Learn that perfectionism isn’t necessary all of the time. Drop ball #4. Ask yourself, who is the audience and what is the consequence if the outcome is less than perfect? This will help determine where your extra effort should be placed.

How about you? Are you juggling too many balls and about to drop them all? What can you purposefully drop now? What are your tips for coping with stressful times?  Share them now in the comments section below.

Do your people have the tools to de-stress before they drop all the balls? We facilitate coping with stress workshops that help your jugglers keep the most important balls in the air! Give us a call before they all drop!

I’m currently working on completing a number of exit interviews for a client with a retention problem. Exit interviews can uncover valuable information about the employment experience at your company.  Strengths and weaknesses can be uncovered in areas such as management style, communication, operations, processes, morale, and training.  They can also clarify the skills, knowledge and attributes needed to be successful in the job being vacated.

An added bonus of exit interviews is that they are generally perceived by existing employees as positive. Organizations using exit interviews are regarded as caring and compassionate, a sign that the organization is willing to hear feedback and take action to improve.

Exit interviews can be conducted on-line, face-to-face, and by telephone. While there are pros and cons for each method, completing exit interviews is better than not completing any at all. Here are some tips to help you get started.

Tips for conducting exit interviews

1. Exit interviews must be voluntary.
2. Exit interview must be confidential and this should be mentioned at the start of the interview.
3. Exit interviews should be introduced as a tool that focuses on the employment experience so that the company can improve its employment practices.  They must be introduced with an explanation about how the information will be used.  For example, it will not be used against them, and the information will be compiled anonymously into a report to help the company improve the HR practices of the company, for example, recruiting and retention processes.
4. Most exit interviews are conducted with individuals who voluntarily leave an organization because they are typically employees that the company wants to retain. Research shows that information collected from those who leave involuntarily (i.e. after being fired) is less helpful and less honest than those who leave voluntarily.
5. An experienced, impartial and trained interviewer should be used. Why? Because they are adept at listening and picking up on subtle cues so that additional questions are asked and because confidentiality is assured participants open up more fully.
6. Exit interviews are not for discussing or debating individual or organizational performance.
7. Thoughtful and focussed exit interview questions should be prepared in advance. Questions should focus on the main reason the employee is leaving, what they liked and disliked about the job and the company, what skills, knowledge and attributes are needed to excel at the job, whether the compensation and benefits programs are perceived to be competitive, what can be improved, and much more.
8. Some feel that exit interviews are best conducted a few days prior to the employee leaving, others feel a week or two after they leave is best. It’s never a good idea to conduct an exit interview on the last day or employment.
9. Conduct the exit interview in an impartial location, such as a meeting room. Telephone exit interviews are good because they allow ex-employees to participate from the comfort and security of their own homes. Never conduct an exit interview in a public setting like a coffee shop.
10. Participants should be thanked for their participation, time, and insight provided.

Exit Interviews can save money!

Investing in an exit interview can save an organization money in the long run.  Consider an organization that hires university Engineering graduates, and invests $50,000 in training and development over a 5 year period. After five years, the turnover rate spikes because a competitor then swoops in and raids the company. The competitor now has well-trained employees and the organization providing the training has to go back to the drawing board to hire and fill that position. Not only have they lost the $50,000 invested in the employee, but they have lost knowledge, wisdom, and potential with the departing employee. 

Need to figure out why your talent is walking out the door?  As an objective third party partner,  Royce & Associates can find out the real reason why your talent are leaving. Our knowledge, skills, and experience with conducting exit interviews, asking open-ended questions, and following up on subtle nuances, such as tone of voice, results in our ability to uncover issues that others might miss. We can help you implement in-house exit interview program as well. Give us a call and we’ll help find the real reason your talent is walking out the door so you can take action to prevent it.

September is a month for change and getting back into the routine for many! It’s back to school and it’s also a time when businesses get “back to normal” as summer is a favourite season for vacations. 

A colleague of mine, Nora Camps, wrote a lovely blog to her daughter who is off to her first year of university. Nora has a way of articulating very clearly her beliefs and guiding principles. She offers insights that are good for navigating the first year of university, but can be applied to anyone at any stage of life. They can be adapted and applied to work too! 

While reading “What I Know For Sure”  think about how the insights can be adapted to the workplace.  Here are a few questions to get you started:

1. Do you debrief after projects to find out what worked and what didn’t? So you can drop the things that don’t work! And continue the behaviours that worked!
2. Do policies and management support work/life balance and wellness as a healthy body means a healthy mind?
3. Do you model positive thinking and encourage your team to believe they can reach goals?
4. Do you allow time for reflection and thought? When issues or problems need solving do you teach people to use inituition (that little voice in your head that shouts “right or wrong”) along with facts and figures to make decisions?
5. Do you coach people on technical skills, but also help them reframe when they bring a negative mood to the team? Do you help them realize “you are what you think”?
6. Do you believe people can solve problems and do you provide the knowledge, tools, and empowerment for them to do that effectively?
7. Do you encourage your people to believe they can succeed? Do you know what motivates them? Do you provide feedback on strengths and areas needing development?
8. Do you encourage an environment of asking questions to seek and to share knowledge?
9. Do mistakes happen, and those mistakes are used as learning opportunities so they don’t happen again?
10. Do you share what you know for sure to make a more happy, healthy, and productive workplace?

How do you make organizational values and beliefs become guiding principles impacting individual behaviours and actions? Organizational “stories” can reveal a lot about the beliefs and guiding principles of your company.  Share your comments below.

Last week I blogged about meeting the personal or emotional needs of another person to ensure effective communication. By naming and acknowledging the emotions behind issues, you open the doors to communication. This allows you to get on with meeting the practical needs of the other person.

Meeting practical needs is helping the other person solve the problem or come to their own decisions. It helps people look at issues in a different way. This way, they own the solution, learn how to problem solve, and are empowered.  We all know what happens when we tell someone what they should do or give advice. We own the problem and we get blamed if things don’t go as planned.

Let’s continue with the scenario presented last week.  Let’s image that Sam is meeting with his manager, Mary about his performance review. He isn’t very happy about it. Mary does the right thing by acknowledging his feelings. She’s meeting his personal needs. But if that is all she does during the conversation, the performance review issue won’t be resolved. So after Mary shows empathy and understanding, she can start to meet Sam’s practical needs, but using her influencing skills to guide his thinking. 

In this case, Sam’s been an outstanding customer service representative in previous years, but at the beginning of this year, Sam had real difficulties handling his temper when dealing with irrate customers. He had too many things on the go, finishing up a college degree in the evenings, and adjusting to fatherhood with the birth of his first child. But with stress and time management training and coaching to handle irrate callers he is better able to handle stress and his temper, but that’s only come about during the 2nd half of the year. The conversation might go like this: 

Sam:  I’m upset about my performance review.

Mary:  Can you tell more more about what is specifically upsetting you?

Sam:  Yeah, I didn’t get an “Outstanding” rating for Customer Service.

Mary: You’re frustrated and you don’t agree with your rating. (Paraphrasing).  Sam, can you tell me what’s involved in achieving an “Outstanding” rating for Customer Service?

Sam:  Well, I’m pretty good with customers. Isn’t that enough. I’ve been here a long time and I think I work hard.

Mary: Let’s go over the description for “Outstanding.” (Reviews the rating levels with Sam). So you see Sam, an “Outstanding” rating means that you CONSISTENTLY handle customer interactions with professionalism, pleasant tone of voice, remain calm, and you follow specific steps to resolve issues with difficult customers over the FULL review period.

Sam: Well, that’s what I do most of the time. I wasn’t so great at the beginning of the year, but with that extra training and coaching I’m better.

Mary: (calmly) So, on one hand you’re telling me that you had difficulty earlier in the year and you needed help, and on the other hand you’re telling me you deserve an “Outstanding?” 

Sam: Yeah, I guess. But that was earlier in the year. I’m much better now. More like my old self.

Mary:  Yes, your performance is better now and I’m happy to see you seem less stressed. But the performance review covers the full year. (Gives information).  Sam, what was the impact to the company when you lost your temper with our customers?

Sam: The customers didn’t think the best about the company and they complained.  (Mary goes on to ask other probing questions, and Sam admits that they lost one customer after he complained that Sam hung up on him).

Mary:  So we agree that it hurts the company. How did it impact your team?

Sam: Well, Alicia had to deal with one of the customers when I was getting upset. I transferred the call to her.   (Sam goes on to say that Alicia stayed late to finish up paperwork for her own calls, and fixed and completed the paperwork for his call as well).

Mary: So after all that, what’s the impact on you and your performance rating?

Sam:  (Sheepishly) I get a less than “Outstanding” rating.  

Mary: So what actions can you take to achieve an “Outstanding” rating next time? How can I help?

(The discussion continues….)

You can see, that influencing others through guiding thinking takes more time. Mary’s role is to become Sam’s thinking coach.

Why is meeting practical needs important?

Because meeting the practical needs of a person helps increase understanding and solves problems. Sam is much more likely to work actively at changing his behaviour and setting goals to achieve a better rating because he understands and owns the problem.  Mary shares important information and uses influencing skills such as logical consequence questioning, gentle confrontation, reframing, and focussing, to guide Sam’s thinking.  Sam owns the problem and the solution, not Mary! Their relationship is enhanced and Sam won’t hesitate to discuss issues with Mary in the future.

Next time you start down the path of telling another person what you think they should do, or selling your reasons, try meeting their practical needs by using influencing skills.  If you need help, call us for our effective communication workshop!

We all deal with issues on a daily basis. Sometimes we deal with happy issues, and sometimes we deal with difficult situations where emotions are high. Organizations, or the people that make up organizations have difficulty with emotions. Some think emotions don’t belong in a business setting, but emotions are what gives us the motivation and passion to move forward and solve problems, especially if they are channelled in the right way.

Personal needs must be met for effective communication to take place. This means acknowledging the emotions and feelings behind an issue. For example:

Let’s imagine that Sam comes to talk to his manager, Mary about his recent performance review. Sam isn’t very happy about his rating and is very upset. His emotions are evident, but Mary doesn’t acknowledge his feelings at all. She goes immediately into pointing out all the reasons he didn’t do well. How does Sam react? He certainly won’t feel like opening up and discussing anything in a calm manner with Mary. He might get angry, or he might stop communicating completely. 

Why is meeting personal needs important?

Because meeting the personal needs of a person helps open the gateway to effective communication. Sam is much more likely to sit down and start talking if Mary uses active listening skills and simply said to him:  “Sam, you seem upset. Let’s talk.” When his emotional needs are met, and he feels acknowledged and HEARD, Sam will disclose more information and be more receptive to anything Mary might have to say. Mary might also find out more information that she didn’t know. By acknowledging emotions, she is expressing empathy and trying to understand Sam in a non-judgemental way.

Next time you start a discussion with a employee, customer, or co-worker, who is coming to you with an issue try to name the emotion that might be expressed, and acknowledge it. Use your attending behaviours to show you are listening. Open the flood gates to effective communication. Meeting the emotional needs of a person, allows you to move on to problem solving. Some people will find it easy to notice and acknowledge the feelings and emotions behind an issue. But that isn’t all that is needed to solve problems and issues.

Next week, I’ll blog about meeting the practical needs of a person to ensure effective communication.